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Of late, I’ve been receiving a large volume of spam with the exact same content. I get the spam on my home account, I get it on my numerous work mailing-lists and accounts, and I get complaints about it in my role as one of the official complain-about-spam-people for UF.

Date: Fri, 16 May 2003 10:09:03 +0000
From: Olin McMillan <mcMillan@psbnewton.com>
To: jordan@yourdomain.com
Subject: Why wouldnt you just give it to me

get larger nuts and penís, more pleasure, more satisfaction
Find out more here

[p.jp%67]

Yup, larger nuts. Bigger balls, and other variations on the theme. This new trend of spam has me both amused, and concerned. It’s of course amusing, because it’s so pervasive and entertaining; bigger balls? What in the world would I do with bigger balls? This is like an index finger enlargement scheme. Maybe I don’t really want to ask this question, but why in the world do the spam marketers seem to think this is a good tactic? Is that supposed to make my jaw drop and say:

“Dang, that’s exactly what I needed, thanks tt32fA_fRfx4fd@hotmail.net!”

And of course, it’s concerning, because… well…. does this mean… that… How do they know?

<sob>

6 Responses to “Why wouldnt you just give it to me”

    I must say, though, that I am a little disappointed when I get an enlargement spam these days that _doesn’t_ offer bigger balls. What? Is their method or product not powerful enough? It’s only going to make the penis mightier, not the balls too? What a rip; I’m going to use RXVT power pills because those are much better quality.

    I can think of some handy uses for a bigger index finger.

    The one spam that _really_ concerns me is the one offering breast enlargement. How do they know _that_ is one of my dreams? :-)

    I also like how they spell penis with an í, trying to defeat filters that are looking for the conventional spelling. I’ve also seen a lot of spam lately that uses homonyms (like ’seks’ instead of ’sex’). It’s an arms race, that’s for sure.

    Fortunately, I never get that spam, but Joy does, which makes seeing it even funnier. My roommate does too. He has even gotten IM SPAM. Isn’t that something? It will come on Microsoft’s IM service and address him by name… and then say come (hyperlinked “here”) to… something explicit.
    That is really going low!

    I always got that kind of spam, it just jammed my mail box!!